Why You Lose Your Temper with Your Child (and How to Stop)

In the age of social media and the perfect Instagram family, it can be defeating when you’re doing everything you can but it all blows up in your face. Have ever you had the thought of giving up? You are not alone.

Most parents are going through the same issue of controlling their anger when their child decides to act out. You may lose your cool sometimes but remember

“You may lose the battles, but don’t lose sight of the end of the goal.”

The goal is to help your child become the best version of themselves and strengthen your relationship. Not controlling your anger could spoil the relationship with your child, so it is important to understand what is triggering your anger.

What triggers you to lose your temper?

Do you sometimes feel like you don’t exactly understand why you had an outburst on your child? Here are some triggers that causes parents to lose their temper:

Surrounding Noise:

The noise of toys, the cars passing by, your child’s shouting…etc those are some of the moments when parents lose their temper.

Public Tantrums or Embarrassing Behavior:

Dealing with a meltdown at home is tough, but it’s even harder in public. Many parents lose their cool because they feel embarrassed or judged by others when their child acts out.

Exhaustion and Stress:

After a hard day at work, you come home to your child throwing a tantrum about not having some chocolate. When you’re exhausted, even minor misbehaviours can feel overwhelming.

Now that you understand what might be triggering your anger, let’s explore ways to handle it more effectively.

Use a ‘Cool-down’ Strategy

There are various strategies to cool down during such situations so I decided to put together the best for you to use if you ever find yourself in such a situation:

Pausing before reacting:

It’s hard to think clearly when you’re angry, so it is important to pause and think before reacting to your child’s outrage or tantrum. Children are impressionable, so it’s important to avoid leaving a negative impression.

Take a few seconds to collect your thoughts and remember how much you love your child then you can take whatever action comes to mind.

Take deep breaths:

Breathing in moments of anger is another strategy that can help you calm down faster. A technique I recommend is the 3–3–3 rule breathing technique. You breathe in for three seconds, hold for three seconds, and exhale for three seconds.

Count to 10:

Another technique to give yourself space before reacting is counting to 10. Children can read your energy and if you decide to get angry, they will keep crying and whining. As soon as you sense your anger rising, count to 10.

Use a calming phrase:

You can shift your mindset by speaking positive phrases to yourself. For example: “I am bigger than this” or “I will not let this overcome me.”

Practice Visualization:

Visualizing calming scenes, like waves or a quiet forest is helpful in resetting. The mind is powerful when it comes to visualizing scenes, and you can use this to your advantage.

Once you’ve calmed down, it’s also important to look at the situation from your child’s perspective.

Remember your child’s perspective:

Children often struggle with expressing their emotions in words that’s why they misbehave and go on tantrums.

This is why it’s important for you as a parent to have the skill of empathy. Putting yourself in the shoes of your child to understand what is going on.

Once you can put yourself in their world and understand why they’re acting out, you can respond with more patience and assess the situation better.

Going on from that moment, you also need to set clear boundaries with your children.

Set Clear Boundaries Consistently:

Children are good at testing their limits to see how much they can get away with. You need to remain consistent with your boundaries and not bend them for any reason.

If you try to negotiate with them, they use it as an incentive to keep doing what they want and we don’t want that. Being consistent also helps the child know what is expected and what will not be tolerated.

If you’re looking for additional support, contact Redeemer’s Learning Center daycare in Katy TX. We ensure with our programs that every child is treated fairly and taught a stronger parent-child relationship.