If you're like most parents, you’ve probably faced your child throwing a tantrum. As children grow, tantrums are a natural part of their development and their way of seeking more attention—though it can be frustrating.
To effectively address and manage tantrums, it's essential to understand what triggers these outbursts. Let’s dive into the reasons behind these emotional outbursts.
Understanding Why Tantrums Happen
Tantrums are common, especially in toddlers. In fact, most toddlers have at least one tantrum each day.
This happens because they are overloaded with emotional desires and don’t know how to control them. For example, imagine your child wanting a snack, but you're busy making dinner. They may not have the words to express their frustration, so they break into tears instead.
If things don't go their way, they express their emotions by crying or whining.
In addition to understanding why tantrums occur, it’s also important to know how long they typically last.
How Long Do They Usually Last?
In most cases, it lasts between 15 to 30 minutes. However, some children have longer tantrums. For instance, I saw a post once about a dad whose child went on for over an hour.
It could be that the child is tired, hungry, or overstimulated. Tantrums that last an hour or more can happen but should be monitored if they become a pattern.
If you notice a consistent pattern of long tantrums then it is best to visit a pediatrician for guidance.
Now that we understand why tantrums happen, knowing when they generally subside can offer reassurance. Here’s what you can expect as your child grows.
When Do Tantrums Stop?
Tantrums usually begin between 12 to 18 months old. They get worse between 2 to 3 years old.
At age 4, they begin to reduce or rarely occur. Being tired, hungry or sick can make tantrums worse or more frequent.
Temper tantrums can leave the most patient parent drained. So, what can you do when your child melts down?
Tips for Managing Tantrums
Stay consistent with your boundaries:
Do you ever feel like your child is testing your patience? Setting firm boundaries can help them understand limits. Stick to your decisions, regardless of the whining or crying. Consistency helps children understand limits.
Use calming strategies:
Gently holding your child can sometimes help calm them down during a tantrum. If that’s not working, offering their favorite toy or leaving them in a quiet corner might help.
I remember holding my child during a tantrum, offering soothing words until they eventually calmed down. Sometimes, that physical closeness is enough to ease their emotional storm.
Try distraction:
Distraction can sometimes work wonders. Try to ease your child into a new activity or put on their favorite show to redirect their attention away from the tantrum.
Show them you love them, but not their behavior:
Reward good behavior with praise and affection, but avoid rewarding tantrums. This helps your child learn the difference between what’s acceptable and what isn’t.
While tantrums can be exhausting, they are a normal part of a toddler’s emotional growth. The key is staying consistent, offering comfort when needed, and setting boundaries.
Still feeling unsure about how to handle tantrums? We’d love to help you navigate this tricky stage of parenting. At Redeemer’s Learning Centre, we understand the challenges of toddlerhood. Our infant program and childcare services are designed to support your family through every stage of development.
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